Travel tips

No matter what your travel agent says, there are no guarantees you'll come back alive. If somebody takes you hostage, at least have the guts to spit in his face. Trust me, it's worth losing your head sometimes. On the other hand, sometimes you have to quit while you're a head. The unnamed beneficiary of your travel insurance policy is the person who sold it to you. When travelling, generosity is the key. If staying with cannibals, be careful about lending them a hand. Don't sleep in empty graves. Those people you see everytime you go to the nightclubs? They're not the same ones who were there last year.